realitys edge
by Albino Nigger
Summary: how did Tsukasa find the world? a alternate beginning to .hack sign


Reality's edge  
By Ayesha Beasley  
  
Real. Is there really a meaning behind that word? Most people define it as things that can be explained. But, if that were true, the experience I'm going to tell you about wouldn't be considered real. How do I define real? Real is anything you can make it. What you want it to be. Not everything has an explanation. Could real even be a word? Or is it a term used only to separate us from unknown worlds or times. To explain and comfort us from what we don't know or fear. To dismiss the fact that some things out there, we just can't explain. My name is Tsukasa, and I'm a child who found the meaning of this word.  
I'm the kind of kid you'd expect to have a horrible life. I never smile because my father hates it when I do, and my older brother is in a coma. The very last time I saw him, he was in his room in front of the computer. I looked away no more than thirty seconds and he was dead; or at least his brain was. My mother and I have hardly talked since she left us, and my heart burns from anger when we do. I always did blame her for my brother's death. It has been ten years since all this has happened, and I've gotten pretty used to the fact of being alone. Of course, id rather live in the past than the present, in the past my brother was alive.  
The day we're gonna speak of my father and I had just fought, and I ran into my brothers room after I had received my punishment. My brothers room, it was my sanctuary. The room was a doorway to memories that were only mine; probably since no one dared or cared to enter the room but me. I sighed as I calmly cleaned my bleeding bruises before climbing into my brothers bed. "He always smiled" I thought, as I stared into a picture of him.  
Back when Poachi was alive, back when the family was together, he and I used to be in his room for hours. Nothing special, its just that I loved my brother dearly, and electronics and I were the only things my brother loved. I could be the richest girl in the world, if I could just watch my brother tinker with his electric toys. He was always bringing home something to show me. "hey look sue I found a new motor!" "Sue I got a new game!" unfortunately it was that new and exciting game that made me lose him. My father forbade me to ever touch that computer again. And now I simply stare at it, quietly asking it where it took my brother. I shook my head as I got up, and sat in the chair at the computer. In the screen I could see my reflection, and unfortunately, I could see my eyes.  
Poachi always told me that when he looked into my eyes, he had never seen anything more pure. Now when I look into my eyes, I see pure hatred and a glint of sorrow. I wish it wasn't there, I wish I could look into my eyes and see the pureness my brother saw; but I haven't been able to ever since Poachi disappeared. "Sue," Poachi told me the last time I saw him "never be afraid to follow your heart. It'll lead higher and higher to the moon that is your goals. You may not reach the moon, but you'll fall among the stars." my brother was always the weird one of the family, though it wasn't that way to me.  
I propped my elbows onto the desk that sat the computer, I put my chin in my hands and gazed into the screen that seemed to be a doorway into the unknown. I swept my fingers along the keys that my brother had touched, and sitting next to the keyboard, were a pair of goggles that were my brothers death. He had brought home a new game called The World, and these cyber goggles were his keys to enter the door to the game, and to death. I bowed my head in respect as I remembered finding my brother motionless on the floor, still wearing these same goggles. As I relived the past in silence, I heard a familiar sound. It was my father, most likely mad, most likely looking for me. I put my face in my hands and cried as the steps came closer, probably because I wanted to hid my sorrow and fear from the computer screen, the one my brother might be looking through. As I took my hands from my face, one of them landed on the goggles. I could disappear instantly, I thought; and maybe, I could be with my brother. I lifted the goggles to put them on, but I hesitated, what if what I found was death? The door opened and my father stepped into the room. I don't know what happened next, I had already entered the game.  
I closed my eyes and sighed, I was finally about to find out what this was about, and why my brother had disappeared. I opened them to only find a world of darkness. I was mad, I was furious, the anger that was hidden in my eyes bubbled to the surface as I crumpled onto the ground and cried. My brother wasn't there, nothing was there. I had gotten what I wanted, I had joined my brother and entered a coma. I simply guessed this was what it was like to be in a coma. I had been alone ever since Poachi was dead, but nothing prepared me for this.  
I laid down and let my tears drift off my face as I stared at what I thought was the sky. I really had no idea what to do next, I didn't think there was anything to do. Then, I saw a glint of something in the air. I squinted my eyes to try and see it, but it was too far up. I didn't have to wait long to find out what it was, it slowly descended till it was right in front of me. I really couldn't tell if it was a man or woman. I was wrong, it was a cat with what seemed to be the body of a child, and it floated above the ground; smiling at me. He mouthed a few words that no one could hear except my mind, and slowly my heart began to lighten. "yes please!" I screamed in delight "take me to him!" The cat smiled and bowed, and taking me by the hand it led me like a small child. We walked for a while through the darkness, till the cat stopped and flew into the air. "where are you going!" I screamed in fear of being left alone. It stopped a few feet up, and made a few motions with its hands as a breeze slowly began to pick up. The cat began to dance and sing, as a gate appeared before me. it flew to the gate and petted it lovingly, beckoning me to it. Taking me by the hand once more, we entered The World.  
The cat dropped my hand and flew into the air, singing and dancing merrily, as if it had completed a very important goal. The world was colorful and beautiful and not at all like earth. The cat gave me a hug, kissed me on the forehead, and beckoned me to follow. I really had no reason not too.  
We wandered the world for sometime, till we came to a place where a crowd of small children had gathered. They were all focused on one boy who was telling them a story it seemed, and he told it with great enthusiasm and movement. The boy had dark brown hair that was almost black, with the same eyes as I had. No matter how much he had aged, I recognized him right away. He was my older brother Poachi, who family had long taken for dead. He noticed me almost immediately, and after finishing his story rose off the steps to come and greet me. "Hey Sue," he whispered to me "long time no see." Tears choked my throat as I realized this was all real. My name may be Tsukasa, but Poachi was the only one who called me Sue. No one could ever impersonate that.  
I hugged my brother, letting my tears sop through his shirt and onto his chest. "Poachi," I said when I had dried my tears and calmed myself "is this were you have been?" he nodded, "yes, The World is a wonderful place Sue. Everyday I waited for your curiosity to get the best of you and lead you here as it did me. I wanted Maha here to lead you into the vigorously colorful world just as she had done me." Poachi held my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. I knew he would be disappointed in the anger that had filled them, he would want know where the pureness had gone. To my surprise he smiled, "Come, let me show you around." Poachi took my hands in his, and I smiled as I felt his huge hand engulf my smaller one.  
Later that night when I stood in his house, in the bedroom he had let me have; I gazed into the mirror, into my eyes. Floating like a life boat was the same pureness my brother had seen that same day. But that wasn't all; I also saw a faint glimmer of hope and a hint of happiness. But, I also saw a warning that what used to be there could come back, if I let it.  
Poachi showed me many things during my tour. He showed me these creatures called Grundys, and he bought me one of which I named Yuu. I eventually had to leave, and Poachi begged me with all his heart to stay. I did, I now live with Poachi and Yuu, and Maha visits plenty. The last time my father saw me was when I was laying in front of the computer; still wearing the same goggles I had put on the moment before, the same ones that had saved Poachi before me. the last time my mother saw me was on my deathbed, when I allegedly died in a coma. But the present is behind us, and ever since I decided to stay, Poachi and I have lived in the past. With life in The World, we could finally live. Many a day both Poachi and I take long walks in The World's beautiful grass forests with Yuu walking behind us. For the first time ever since Poachi had died and gone to heaven.... I smiled. 


End file.
